Netiquette: Because You
Aren’t As Anonymous as You Think
Jenna Petersen
Have you ever gotten an email from someone and just cringed at the font,
the all caps, the way it’s been addressed? Maybe on an email loop?
Or had someone sign your guestbook and it made you mutter things under
your breath? What you have
experienced are breaches in Netiquette and since more and more of us are online,
perhaps it’s time to review.
So, I am putting on my Ms. Manners cap to walk you through the yes and
no world of internet communication.
Big Nos:
1. All CAPS – In the cyber world, using all caps (all capital letters) translates into yelling. You may think that WRITING LIKE THIS makes it easier for the recipient of your email or guestbook entry to read, but in reality, it's just considered rude by those in the know. Make your statement by the words you choose, not the capital letters you use.
2. Over
the top, shameless self-promotion through email or the use of someone
else’s website -- Have you ever been on an email list where some
people aren't active until they want to promote themselves? It's so
obvious, especially on a link where you have an active population of people
always willing to help each other out. Suddenly Suzy Promotion pops up
and goes on and on for three paragraphs about her own book, the workshop
she's presenting at a conference and then... by the way... she kind of
answers a question that's been asked.
Or maybe the problem pops up on a guestbook (you can see examples in the one
for this very site). A person signs a guestbook with SPAM for a
product, or a more subtle mention of their own work, book or site.
One word people: Classless.
If this sounds like you, just remember, we remember. Coming
onto email lists is a great way to promote yourself, but only if you don't
abuse your presence there. Be active, answer questions and by all
means, include a small signature line that says your name, your website,
your latest book. Because if you're really just there to promote
yourself, you're no better than SPAM. This leads me easily to my next
No-No...
3. Long, horrible signature lines -- Ok, did you just read the last No-No? Well, when I say have a signature line, I don't mean a signature paragraph!! I swear, I've seen people who have the equivalent of the Gettysburg Address as their sig line and that is just uncalled for. It takes up waaay too much space and comes under the header of shameless self-promotion again. My suggestion for your signature line? Name, website, one book title. If you are lucky enough to have multiple books out at once, pick the one that's out most recently. People will come visit your site, especially if they've found your comments on the list to be insightful or helpful and that's the place where you can put up excerpts from your books, your great review quotes and all that jazz.
4. Demanding
links on someone else’s website -- This one is near and dear to my
Passionate Pen heart. You would not believe how often I get one-line,
unsigned emails that read "Add this link to your site". Or
even better, just a link with nothing else. Yes, there are sites and
search engines out there that will take links from any person who
asks. My site, and many, many like it is not one of them. If the
people who have demanded a link had actually looked at my links page, they
would see that I only add sites that I've found helpful and only link to
author friends or people I am a fan of. If they haven't bothered to
look at my site, why should I bother to look at the one they're sending
me?
A hint to those of you sending around link requests... look at the sites
you're trying to link to. If they don't ask for link suggestions, go
ahead and send that email, but describe your site. Say why you
think your site would be a good addition there. And if your site
doesn't show up on theirs? Don't email them over and over demanding
the site be added.
5. On
email links, keeping the entirety of someone’s email message attached
under yours -- Right after the computer gods created the keyboard, they
added a delete key. From our experience with revisions, we
authors ought to know, the delete key is our friend. The delete key is
meant to be used. Those core concepts should go with you when you head
out into the world of email loops.
If you are responding to a message on an email loop, take the time to delete
all the original message except the pertinent information. Otherwise
it quickly deteriorates into ten messages that have all the previous
messages attached. Why does that matter, you may ask? Well...
most email loops are set up so that users can receive the messages in Digest
format. This means that instead of getting each mail as it is sent to
the list, the user gets one message every day or every twenty-five messages
or so, whichever comes first. If those on an email list leave every
message on their own, this means that those on Digest get multiple copies of
messages and the digests can be incredible big, hard to download and almost
useless after all the scrolling is done. Please, be kind and delete.
And to those of you on Digest? When you reply, be sure to delete the
digest and change the subject heading.
6. Also on email links, continuing a conversation that has become private -- It happens on every email loop. People become friends (a very good thing) and as they ask about writing info, personal information also comes out. Mary in Miscokie mentions that her mother passed away, then Donna from Delaware responds to say how sorry she is. Soon there is a deluge of "I'm sorry, Mary" and stories from ten people whose mother's died and how they coped. All that is interesting. It is also private and off-topic. If you feel like what you are about to type to a email loop is private... type the message privately. Do not send your one line congratulations, condolences or long, personal stories to a list that is meant to discuss writing industry.
7. Asking
questions that are already answered on a website -- And we're back to
website Netiquette. Maybe you like a site or feel like a webmaster has
some information to share. Before you whip out a question... LOOK AT
THE WEBSITE (yes, I know that was all caps and it was meant to be
yelling). It's incredible to me how often people ask me where they can
find my books in the bookstore when there are several places on this site
where I mention I am yet to be published. Or ask me what questions
they should ask an agent they want to hire when there is an article with
many, many questions to ask an agent. Or how do you sent a
submission... um, check out the Submission Checklist page!!
When you ask a question that is clearly answered in a site's content, you
are saying you didn't bother to look at the site. That doesn't
generally make a hard-working webmaster want to help you. So please,
as much as we want to help, look at our sites before you ask that pressing
question. We beg of you!!!!!!!
Alright, now that I've bombarded you with things not to do, let's review some things I hope you're already doing.
Big Yeses:
1. Saying “Thank You”-- Come on, now, Forrest... your Mama always said to say thank you. The same goes for the internet. If you've asked a question to a webmaster and they've taken time out from their own writing and lives to answer you, jot off an email and say thanks. If an author has given you advice at a chapter meeting or in an article you read, tell them you appreciate the knowledge they've shared. And if you've asked for help on an email loop and someone has responded publicly or privately, send them a private thanks! If you do it for no other reason, do it for the Karma.2. Signing your email -- This is especially important on email lists, but really in any email situation. Who said what can get so confusing. By simply putting your name you can help clear up the confusion. And not just your first name, your last name, too. If you're really uncomfortable using your last name, put an initial because there may be ten Jennifers on a loop and I really want to know which one told me the capital of South Dakota. Be professional, sign your name to what you say.
There are so many more rules that I could fill a website with Netiquette alone, but I won't. These are some good guidelines to start with, but really it's all about common sense. Unlike a face-to-face conversation, internet communication allows you the luxury of time. You can really think out what you're going to say and make sure it's right before you send it. So before you send "it", whether it is a message to a webmaster, to a writing loop or a comment during a chat, think about it. Are you going to offend? Are you interrupting? Are you spreading gossip, hearsay, shamelessly promoting yourself or adding useless information to an existing conversation? Has someone else given of their valuable time to help you? Do you have time to spare to tell them that meant something?
I urge everyone to think before you send. Doing that will save you from many a Netiquette No-No.